The Louder Voice

When it comes to working out, I tend to have two voices swimming around in my head. The first, usually louder the day before planned workout, says things like “Yeah, I’ll get up early and go for a run” or “Meeting so and so at yoga in the morning before work FOR SURE”, and things like that. But when that time comes, another voices rises up usually as soon as the alarm goes off in the morning. This voice says things like “but you didn’t sleep well last night and you had a bad dream and you really have a lot of other stuff to do today, plus you need coffee and it was a waxing gibbous moon last night so you shouldn’t really go this time but NEXT TIME, next time for sure.” This is the same voice that then turns around and makes me feel AWFUL for not going. I have flaked out on countless workouts, even if friends were going and waiting for me. I found some excuse not to go.  Truthfully, especially when it is a new place, I am intimidated out of my mind and cannot mentally get past that. I have sat in the parking lot of where I am supposed to go work out and with my heart pumping out of my chest and then driven away because I get so worked up about it. The guilt attached to that is equally as crippling and I’m determined to get past that because it has seriously held me back.

This week, I have made major strides in this. My security blanket AKA my friend MegAnne (a fellow challenger) was not able to make it to workouts with me this week so I did what I was dreading. New places with new workouts AND mostly by myself, though I did meet a couple challengers at these workouts which was so great. I went to barre on Monday for the very first time and I will tell you what, that stuff is hard as hell but I can’t wait to go back Monday morning. My butt and thighs had all of the feels for the next 3 days afterwards. I was like a wet noodle walking out of that place but it was my birthday and I started it by doing something that was out of my comfort zone. I hope that that theme will continue throughout the year ahead and beyond. On Thursday, I went to FIT Richmond for the first time. Going in was a little awkward for me because it’s a small space and the previous class was still going on so I just sort of stood there for a while until it was over and I could hand my waiver to someone. To my surprise and delight, the same yoga teacher I’ve been going to at Om was teaching this class. I love Becky! It was the perfect bridge between a place where I am becoming more comfortable (Om) and a new place where I hope to become more comfortable (FIT). I also discovered that that Thursday practice was the strongest yet. I am falling in love with yoga in a big way, more than ever before. I look forward to those classes.

On two occasions the negative voice rose up this past week. I didn’t give it the chance on Monday morning but on Wednesday morning I woke up NOT wanting to go to yoga but I knew I wouldn’t be able to get to any other class that day so I managed myself out of the bed and went, very happy that I did. Plus, as I was leaving in the morning Michael sleepily told me that he’s really proud of me and that propelled me out the door in the best way possible. The second was in the FIT parking lot. I got there a little early so my mind got too active. I told it to shut up and I went inside.

This week and in the weeks to come I hope to continue shutting up the negative voice and really listening to the voice that gets me to my workouts. I didn’t manage to get to Crossfit this week but I hope to make that happen during week 3. I’m thinking the yoga class or if there are a group of people going I will join in. I know I can do it!

I thought that every time I post I could provide a list of things I will be cooking on Sundays in anticipation of the busy weeks to come. Preparation is key for me to be successful in making healthy choices so I will be spending good parts of my Sundays in the kitchen getting all the ingredients ready for my meals for the week. Here’s what I’m doing this week:

1. Bulgur wheat (I got mine at Trader Joe’s but you can get it in the bulk section of Ellwood’s, too.

2. Sweet potatoes

3. Hard boiled eggs

4. Batch of oatmeal with apples, bananas, and walnuts

5. Roasted beets and green beans

And then, of course, some inspiration for week 3

1. The Workout Motivator

2. It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.  - Krishnamurti

3. Jillian Michaels - Google+

4. This process is similar to maslows hierarchy in that the cycle never ends with your physical self until our breath ceases to exist. Naturally, our spiritual selves are ever changing and, as with the tide or the weather, we accept our place, honor our presence fully, breath through the lumps, and express graditude for the day. Without our symbiotic breath and body we remain cavernous and wanting.

5. If it doesn't challenge you it doesn't change you. >so true, literally and figuratively! Took me almost a year to get this pose (Crow) down, but when I did "Shazam"!

Come on, week 3!


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